Alien Visit

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closedfor the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alienaddressed it saying, ‘Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us toyour leader.’ The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of …

Engineer and Accountant

Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. They all …

Berts New Boots

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, are in Alberta. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife, ‘Notice anything different about me?’ Margaret looks him over, ‘Nope.’ Frustrated Bert storms …

My Dad's Job

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. “My father is an exotic dancer …

The Tequila

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico . While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, “What is that you just served?” The waiter …

Santa is Quiting

Santa is Quitting T’was the night before Christmas,Old Santa was ****edHe cussed out the elves and threw down his listMiserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks,I have good mind to s**** the whole worksI’ve busted my ass for damn near a yearInstead of “Thanks Santa” what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work …

Talking Clock

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night a drunk leads the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. “What’s that big brass gong for?” one of the guests asked. “It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock” the drunk replied. “A talking clock? …

Joes Headache

The doctor said, “Joe, the good news is I can cure the headaches you’ve had all these years. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to …

Pinoy Text Messages Quotes and Jokes: Tagalog Friendship Qoutes …

Love Quotes SMS Text Messages, Filipino Tagalog Love Quotes, Visayan Love Quotes, Filipino Love Quotes, Pinoy Jokes SMS Text Messages, Funny Jokes, Tagalog Jokes , Visayan Jokes, SMS Jokes, SMS Love Quotes, Romantic Qoutes, …

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