24 Jun 2009 08:05 am #1 A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little yellow bug and waspulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver’s license. She dug through herpurse and was getting progressively more agitated. ‘ What does …

Top Ten Excuses of Not Doing Math Homework

Top Ten Excuses for Not Doing Math Homework 1. I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames. 2. It’s Isaac Newton’s birthday. 3. I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn’t actually reach it. 4. I have the proof, but there isn’t room to write it in this margin. …

Nurse Term Medical Jokes

Loser applied to a Medical School– needless to say he never made it –Because these are the answers he gave for medical terms. Antibody – against everyoneArtery – the study of fine paintingsBacteria – back door to a cafeteriaBenign – what you be after you be eightBowel – letters like a,e,i,o,uCaesarian Section – a district …

Oxygen Tube

Funny StoriesOk. For those who know me personally (cutiebootie) you know I am a crazy a$$. So here’s a story to fill your days with kin teet. Killer P David had been a faithful Christianand was in the hospital near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the psator stood next …

Baby Eating a Watermelon Funny Picture Caption

Funny what babies do with food, so give us your best funny caption for the image above.

Bird Jokes

A woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot. There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00. “Why so little?,” she asked the pet store owner as she went to pay for the bird. The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that …

Best Pick Up lines (tagalog)

Best Pick-up lines 1. Minamalat na naman ang puso ko.. *** paano kasi, laging sinisigaw ang pangalan mo.. 2. Ikaw ba may-ari ng Crayola?? *** ikaw kasi nagbibigay ng kulay sa buhay ko.. 3. Uy papicture tayo!! *** para ma-develop tayo!! 4. Kung ikaw ay bola at ako ang player, mashushoot ba kita?? *** hinde, …

Short Conversations

Sen.Lito Lapid: Pare, ano ba ang kaibahan ng H2O as CO2?Sen.Jinggoy: Diyos ko naman! Di MO ba alam ‘yun?! Ang H2O ay water! At ang CO2…. Cold water. *********** Gustong malaman ng magkaibigan kung may basketbolan as langit. Nagkasundo sila na kung sino ang unang mamatay ay babalik upang sabihin kung may basketbol as langit. …

Wise Old Man

A wise old man moved to Arkansas and bought himself a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day, that farmer drove up and said, “I’m Sorry, but I have some bad news… the donkey died just last night.” “Well then just give …

Lipstick

According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria, BC recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of grade 12 girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the …