The Talking Clock – Talk Funny Jokes

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night, and led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. ?What?s that big brass gong?? one of the guests asked. ?It?s not a gong. It?s a talking clock,? the drunk replied. ?A talking …

The Puzzle – Talk Funny Jokes

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled …

MINT FLAVORED BIRTH CONTROL PILL – Funn Jokes

The Cadbury?s Candy Co. and Merck Drug Co. have combined to market the new Mint flavored birth control pill that women may take immediately before sex. The Pill will be distributed by the large major drug store chains and Wal-Mart?s Pharmacies. They?re going to be called?. ?Pre-dick-a-mints.?

CHICKEN SOUP FOR BEER DRINKERS – Talk Funny Jokes

I feel sorry for people who don?t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that?s as good as they?re going to feel all day. ? Frank Sinatra ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.? Henny Youngman ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case Coincidence? …

Newfoundland Bar – Talk Funny Jokes

Recently a routine RCMP patrol parked outside a bar just off the main Highway at Goobies, Newfoundland. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar who was so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what …

A Man Staggered Home – Talk Funny Jokes

A man staggered home late after another evening with his drinking buddies. Shoes in left hand to avoid waking his wife, he tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step in the darkened entryway. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body …

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you?ll find that …

Drunk Airline Pilot – Talk Funny Jokes

This is a clip from the Dean Martin Show (a show way back in the late 1960?s)? Foster Brooks (the white haired dude) was a regular on his show. Dean (the dark haired guy)Â had a comedy hour that featured stars like Johnny Carson, Jack Benny and acts like The Gold Diggers. Noteworthy also, are …

Why I Fired my Secretary – Talk Funny Jokes

Do you want to know why I fired my Secretary!?  Ok!!!! Last week was my birthday and I didn?t feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, ?Happy Birthday!?, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, …

New Call Centres – Talk Funny Jokes

With seasonal depression here, now we find even mental health systems are affected by out-sourcing. I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck