ADAM AND EVE -Talk Funny Jokes

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students? here is something to make you chuckle. Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God?s omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven …

Thermometer – Talk Funny Jokes

When you have a ?I Hate My Job? day, try this: On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and …

BEST JOB AT THE CIRCUS – Talk Funny Jokes

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good-looking lad in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner tells them, ?Iâ??m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my …

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he …

CAUGHT SLEEPING ON THE JOB – Talk Funny Jokes

Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping On The Job 15. ?They told me at the blood bank this might happen.? 14. ?This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about at the last time management course you sent me to.? 13. ?Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper? …

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. (2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game …

Men are like – Talk Funny Jokes

For all those men who say, â??Why buy a cow when you can get milk for freeâ?, here?s an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it?s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. 1. Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the crap …

YOU MAY LIVE IN CANADA – Talk Funny Jokes

Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about ?Canucks? -If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Canada. -If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don?t work there, you may live in Canada. -If you?ve worn shorts and a parka …

Ponderisms – Talk Funny Jokes

· Can you cry under water? · How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? · Why do you have to ?put your two cents in?.. But it?s only a ?penny for your thoughts?? Where?s that extra penny going to? · Once you?re in heaven, do …

Cows In Government – Talk Funny Jokes

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else?s cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk they think you need. BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You …