Mental Hospital Joke

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.When …

Coke Joke

The restaurant we had our lunch has some waiters never stop looking at 2 of us, probably rare to serve foreign tourists. To let them know we are happy with the foods they served, Andy smiles to them and show them a common Universal gesture with a thumb high up representing good. Who knows that …

The Party

was invited to a party/get together of a dear friend of mine. There was a girl there that I had never met before. We were playing card games at the dinner table, and of course the lights were reflecting at everyone’s jewelry. I notice that she had this beautiful engagement ring, and right away I …

Golf Joke

Q: These days, what do you need to shoot to win a professional golf tournament?A: Tiger Woods. Q: What golfing foursome do you never want to be behind?A: Monica Lewinsky because she’s a hooker; O.J. Simpson, since he’s a slicer; Ted Kennedy — he can’t drive over water; and Bill Clinton, because he’ll go for …

The Fridge

A middle eastern man lived in the desert in a tent with his three wives.After many years he manged to buy a second hand fridge and a small generator to power it, so that they can have a little luxury in their lives.A passer by was invited to have a meal and as it was …

Motorcycle

There was this guy who owned a very fast motorcycle. His friends wouldalways tell him, that because he only had one good eye (the other being aglass eye) that if he didn’t slow down when he rides his motorcycle, hewould someday be involved in a serious accident. But the friends’ warningswere to no avail.One day …

Heaven or Earth

”THOSE TEXANS”Gabriel went to the Lord and said, “I have to talk to you. We havesome Texans up here who are causing some real problems …. They’re swinging on the Pearly Gates, my horn is missing, and they arewearing T-shirts instead of their robes; there’s barbecue sauce andpicante sauce all over everything, especially their T-shirts; …

Young Woman

A young woman in Liverpool was so depressed that she decided to endher life by throwing herself into the Mersey. She went down to the docks and was about to leap into the freezing water, when a handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the pier, crying.He took pity on her and …

Condom Sizes

A manwalks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad? To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son.Men use them to have safe sex.” “Oh I see,” replied the boy pensively. Yes, I’ve heard of that …

Still A Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great …